Twilit Java
by DancingwithDestiny
Summary: Roxas was shattered by the break-up from hell, at his favorite coffee shop, no less. A year has passed since then. Will Roxas learn to trust and love again? Or at least have his coffee just how he likes it? Happy AkuRoku Day 2011. AU


AUTHOR'S NOTE: Happy AkuRoku Day, everyone! :D

In all honestly, I truly WASN'T planning on uploading this fic today. But, I wasn't able to finish my AMV in time (sorry guys U.U), and not having that, and not wanting to come up empty-handed on this day, I decided to edit this to the best of my ability and get it posted. So keep in mind that this hasn't been beta-read, all that you see here is my own doing. I'll probably have it looked over later and edit it if anything needs fixing, but for now, if you see any issues with quality or fact-checking, that's why. ._.'

A few notes about the fic itself: It's actually a pretty personal one for me. I started writing it in November of last year, finally wrapping it up last month. Lately I've decided to go in a different direction with my fanfics, basing their storylines and scenarios on my own life experiences instead of making everything up. It works pretty well, AND it's a great way to vent. :D  
>Anyway, if you know me personally, there's a good chance that you'll pick up on what I based part of this on. For everyone else, part of this, mainly the breaking up and falling out parts, were based on one of my own friendships that ended last year. It may not have been a romantic relationship, but it still hurt like hell. I pretty much took those events and fictionalized them, changing parts of it to fit the story.<p>

I originally started this as a prompt-based fic, the prompt being "coffee shop." (Like with "Stars," the prompt was also picked up from the schmoop-bingo livejournal group) I don't actually DRINK coffee at all...I like coffee-flavored things, like ice cream and soy milk, and I like the smell of coffee, especially if it's in a bookstore, but nope, I don't drink it. I'm jittery enough as it is. ._.' So if my knowledge of coffee shops seems lacking, that's why.  
>(I picked caramel macchiado out of thin air from of all the coffee varieties I've heard about on TV commercials, heh. Sounds good, though)<p>

Oh, and the name of the coffee shop was something I came up with on a whim; Twilight Java would be too obvious/cliche, so I went for something close to that. Twilit Java, "twilit" as in being lit up by the twilight. Ah? Get it? Eh, it didn't trigger my word processor's spell check, so I figured it must be a word. -shrug-

Enjoy!

Oh, and I don't own the characters or the Kingdom Hearts franchise. DUH. :P

* * *

><p>Roxas, looking for his daily sugar and caffeine fix, had ventured into the local coffee shop, Twilit Java, for his usual: Caramel macchiato. He drummed his fingers on the counter lightly as he waited for his drink to be prepared, already feeling jittery. This was the place where he and his boyfriend usually met up. And they hadn't spoken in weeks.<p>

This was the first Roxas had been back at the coffee shop since it had started. He had been afraid before of facing him so early in the morning, when they both weren't exactly in the most agreeable of states. His caffeine withdrawal-caused headaches had subsided, and now he was simply craving the taste of his favorite beverage. He wasn't entirely sure that his boyfriend would even be here anyway.

The barista brought his hot coffee cup to him, blended and ready to go. Roxas thanked her, paid, turned and began to walk out, when the sight of a familiar head caught his eye.

Silvery white long hair, jeans and a cotton jacket, and worn sneakers.

It was him.

Roxas heart skipped a beat. He was startled, shocked, and relieved at the same time.

"Riku!" he called out.

Riku turned slowly to look at him.

"Roxas," he said, surprise present in his voice, too.

"What are you doing here? What's going on?" Roxas asked.

Riku shrugged. "Just getting some coffee. And maybe a scone." He didn't appear to want to make eye contact.

"C'mon, sit down!" Roxas said, finding a booth in the corner of the coffee shop and directing him to it. Riku shrugged and followed, sitting in the seat opposite Roxas'.

They sat silent for a few seconds. Roxas felt the thickness of tension in the air, but he couldn't put a finger on why.

Finally, after Riku had failed to say anything, he had to come out with it.

"Riku, why haven't you called me back? I've left you voicemails, texts, even an email. I haven't heard _anything _from you. What's going on?"

Riku looked away, and stared out the window that the booth was next to. He didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"It's not working," he said finally, his voice low, even, resolute.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Your phone...?"

Riku met his gaze, his blue-green eyes searing into Roxas'. "_Us._"

Roxas couldn't say anything at first. His mouth moved soundlessly for a few seconds as he struggled to understand. "...What?"

"_This,_" Riku said, waving his hand back and forth in the space between the two of them. "Our relationship. It's not working."

Roxas gaped. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Come on, can't you see it?" Riku said, his tone getting harsher. "How many times have we fought lately? How many times have I pushed you away?" Then his voice lowered considerably. "_How many times have we been together in bed lately?_"

"B-but," Roxas stammered, "I thought you were just having a bad...month...or so...because of work and school and your family and stuff. I was just giving you time to get back to yourself..."

"This _is_ myself." Riku said, his expression hard.

"Roxas, you're too needy. You want my approval all the time, and it's just too fucking much," Riku said, shaking his head.

"B-but, I've always been loyal to you, Riku!" Roxas said, shaking. "Even when you were at your worst, when no one wanted to be there for you, _I _was. To help you...so you wouldn't be alone!"

"You're not loyal. You're just afraid of losing me," Riku sneered. "I don't _need _your help. I'm a big boy, I can handle my shit myself. I always have."

Roxas was shocked. His jaw dropped, and his eyes started to dampen, but he tried to hold it back.

Riku continued. "We've been together too long. You've clung to me, and haven't learned how to deal with things on your own. I know you've been through some shit, but so have I. The difference is that I'm stronger from my pain, from having to deal with it on my own. I can't deal with my shit _and _yours. It's just too much to deal with all the time."

"B-but, that's what couples do! They support each other! Th-they're patient and kind! They–"

"I've had enough, Roxas." Riku cut him off. "I've figured out what I want, and I don't want someone weak, that I have to rebuild. I'm letting you go. I'm sorry."

Riku slid out of the booth and stood up.

Roxas couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He looked up at Riku in desperation. "B-but Riku, I l-love–"

"Don't even say it," Riku said, a subtle wince pulling his features for a brief moment. He closed his eyes. "Don't make this any harder than it already is." He opened his eyes again, looking hard into Roxas'. "We're done. It's over."

Riku turned away, toward the exit, apparently having lost his appetite for both coffee and scones.

He looked over his shoulder at Roxas, one last time. "Goodbye, Roxas. Have a nice life."

His voice this time wasn't cold or cruel, but solemn, sincere, and tired. And with that, he walked out of the coffee shop, down the street, and out of Roxas' life.

Roxas' coffee, now lukewarm, sat, untouched, as Roxas, unable to move from his spot, laid his head in his folded arms, and cried.

* * *

><p>Roxas walked into Twilit Java, reluctantly. A year had passed since that day, and after his friends had gotten sick of his caffeine-deprived complaining over not being able to find a coffee shop as good as his former haunt, they pleaded that he please, <em>please<em> try to go to the Twilit Java again. Roxas thought they were being insensitive jerks, but his resistance was wearing down, and he was getting sick of grocery store-bought instant brews, so he caved.

He walked steadily past _the _booth, staring straight ahead to the counter. He didn't order the caramel macchiato this time. Instead, he picked their basic brew, to compare it to the store-bought varieties he'd been having up until now. That's the reason he'd gone with anyway; better than avoiding his favorite out of the fear that the scent might trigger a flashback to _that day_. He thanked the barista, paid for his drink, and stepped away from the counter. He was about to leave, but then he realized that he didn't have anywhere else to be at the moment, that this might be his best chance of a decent break today. He gazed around the cafe, and sighed. If this was going to be his daily haunt again, he might as well start desensitizing himself now. He peered around at the available seating, careful to avert his eyes from _the_ booth in the corner.

His eyes skimmed the booths – the tables were all occupied already – and spotted one with an empty spot pointed in his preferred direction, toward the entrance. People-watching always was one of his favorite pastimes.

He slid into his new booth – a sizable distance away from _that _booth, which he was thankful for – and sat silently for a moment, staring sullenly into his cup of coffee. Soon realizing that the coffee wasn't going to give him any comforting messages, Roxas sighed, slid his hand over to the little cup in the middle of the table that held the sugar and spoons, took a packet of Sugar In The Raw and a small spoon, opened the packet and dully began to stir it into his drink.

"Something on your mind?"

Roxas jumped back with a rather unmanly shriek, nearly spilling his coffee. Before him sat the origin of that voice, a tall, twenty-something man with bright green eyes and long spiked red hair that must have taken an hour to style. Oh, and tattoos. On his _face._

At least they were small.

Roxas quickly tried to figure out just _how _this had happened, and he realized that he'd been so focused on keeping his gaze like that of a horse with blinders on, he had somehow failed to see that this booth already had an occupant.

"Ah, geez, I'm sorry, I didn't know this booth was occupied, I'll go now," Roxas said rapidly, grabbing his cup and preparing to slide out of the booth.

"Nah, that's alright, you can stay; I could use the company," the man shrugged, as casually as though he hadn't just been unpleasantly shrieked at.

Roxas sank slowly back down into his seat, still feeling unsure, slightly uncomfortable.

"Relax," the man said, with a motion of his hand. "Sit down, I won't bite," he smiled, slightly devilish. The next moment his expression melted to something more somber. "Not really in the mood to..."

He sighed softly. His gaze had left Roxas' face and settled at the general area of the cafe floor, directed at nothing in particular.

Roxas breathed deeply. Calmer now, feeling less threatened, he took a moment to really look at the man. His skin was slightly pale; no facial hair to speak of, other than his short, dark red eyebrows. His jawline was sharp, clearly defined. He appeared lean – thin, even – at least from what Roxas could tell from this angle. His collarbone poked out in the exposed 'v' neckline his jacket created. It was no wonder Roxas hadn't spotted the man; he didn't take up very much of the seat. Two, maybe even three more people could have easily fit in next to him. And his black leather jacket blended in with the upholstery of the booth. His hair, upon closer examination, didn't look horrible like the hair of most men he'd seen who'd tried to spike it themselves with hair gel and a pipe dream. It held its style, but still looked soft, not stiff; comfortable. And his eyes, though melancholy at the moment, really were quite beautiful.

And the tattoos weren't nearly as bad as he'd first thought; they were small, but elongated, like inverted teardrops, one under each eye. A sneaking realization nearly made him laugh out loud; they were oddly similar to those of some clowns' makeup.

He gathered up his courage, and looked at the man straight.

"You've got something on your mind, too?" He smiled, allowing it to curve slightly higher at one side; knowing, playful.

The man's eyes met Roxas', and they lightened, the melancholy expression quickly melting away. He smiled. "Yeah," he said with a slight laugh. "You could say that."

Roxas took a sip of his coffee. Oh yeah. _Much_ better than store-bought. "Okay, you go first. What's your story?" he asked.

The man sighed, and took a sip from his own coffee cup. "Well, it has to do with my ex...boyfriend," he said, pausing briefly to scan the other's reaction. He continued. "We broke up six months ago, and I've been trying to patch up our friendship – we were friends before we started dating – but he won't have any of it." He shook his head. "I know it'd be awkward as hell, but I at least wanted to try. But now he's acting like he just realized that I'm an obnoxious ass. Like I haven't been that way all along," he grinned mockingly. His expression turned serious again. "I'm not ready for him to be out of my life yet...he's the one who broke it off."

The red-haired man sighed again. "Well, that was probably more than you needed to know, huh? Sorry about that," he shook his head.

"Actually, no," Roxas said. "I've been through a breakup too, with my boyfriend, except it was about a year ago. He broke up with me at this very coffee shop...this is the first time I've been back here since then."

"Shit," the other said. The older man raked a hand through his hair. "So what made you come back?"

"Because my friends are assholes," Roxas said with a smirk. "Well...that and they were probably fed up with me bitching about store-bought coffees and how no other coffee shop was as good as this one."

The redhead smiled. "Heh, they do sell good coffee here," he said, lifting his own coffee cup.

"Yeah," Roxas laughed. He was feeling more at ease with this man as the minutes passed.

"So...how bad was it?" the man asked, his voice lowered, eyes soft and sympathetic.

"Pretty bad," Roxas said, opting to stare into his coffee cup. "We had been dating since junior year in high school, and...he was the first boy I ever loved." He reached for a nearby paper napkin and crumpled it in his hand absentmindedly. "He said that the relationship wasn't working anymore, that I was...too immature for him." He squeezed the napkin in his hand into a firm ball and dropped it on the table.

"I'm sorry..." the man said, shaking his head. "That must've hurt like hell."

Roxas gave a small nod. "It did. I was a wreck for months. He didn't even want us to be friends anymore. I...never knew what 'heartbroken' really meant, until then. It hurt so much...it was the most I'd cried since I was a kid." Roxas absently stirred his coffee with his spoon.

"It took me a long time to get over it...too long. I...would watch him, not go-out-of-my-way watch him, just...if we happened to be in the same place. Because I still cared about him...because I missed him. I like people-watching, so, it was natural to me. I...lurked his blog, too." Shame passed over his features. "But I forgot that he had an automatic visitor ID log set up on it, so he caught me, and he caught me looking his way in public, too. He...badmouthed me in front of his friends, who used to be my friends...called me a creeper, a stalker. He told them things about me...private things, that I thought would stay between us, and said he'd keep it up if I didn't leave him alone. I...felt betrayed, and I began to hate him."

The man shook his head again. "I don't blame ya. He sounds like an ass."

"Yeah," Roxas said. "I did stop, but by that point I hated him so much I didn't even want to look at him, on or off-line. I forced myself to stop caring about him, until I felt hollow inside when I'd catch a glimpse of him," Roxas winced.

"But...it's not easy for me to keep that kind of hate for somebody up that long. Late at night I'd think about him, the influence he had had on me, how he changed the way I looked at things, changed the way I thought about myself...even though he broke up with me, some of those things still stayed true. I don't regret being with him. But...he broke my heart, and my trust. I didn't know if I'd ever love again...I still don't know." Roxas shook his head.

"And I still have a hard time trusting...people..." Roxas looked up, his eyes widening.

The redhead smiled.

"Ah," Roxas said, "Guess that's not true anymore." His face reddened, and his forehead broke out into a slight sweat.

The man laughed. "Ah, people say I have a way of getting people to open up around me. So perhaps I'm the exception." He leaned over a little, smiling an easy smile.

Roxas chuckled nervously, still feeling exposed, and foolish. "Yeah, maybe."

A white flash caught his eye. Roxas peered to his left, out the window.

"Oh God!" He ducked quickly, out of view of the window.

"What? What's wrong?" The older man asked, puzzled.

"_It's my ex,"_ Roxas whispered. _"Shit, why is he here? I thought he stopped coming here. Dammit..."_

The other raised an eyebrow, and peered out the window. He saw two young males waiting at a crosswalk on the opposite side of the street.

"Which one is he?"

"_He's the one with the silver hair."_

"Oh...there's someone with him."

"_What?"_

Roxas forgot about his fear of being detected and lifted his head slightly to sneak a glance at what his companion was seeing.

"_Oh my God, it's Sora! He's dating _Sora_?"_

"Well...they could just be friends going to the coffee shop together..." The other man mused.

"_No, no, I know Sora, he's my _cousin,_ we were in the same grade in high school. I always used to catch him ogling Riku when we were together, but he'd never admit that he liked guys! And he's more immature than _I _am!" _Roxas fumed.

He ducked again.

"_Are they coming this way?"_

"I think so," the other man replied.

Roxas groaned.

The redhead thought for a moment.

"I have an idea," he said. He turned to face Roxas, averting his gaze from the window. "Sit up, look at me."

Roxas slowly straightened. "Why?"

"Trust me, this is gonna be fun," the man smirked. "Okay, we're on a date, alright?"

"W-what?" Roxas flushed.

"Just play along," the man winked. "Good start there, by the way."

Roxas smiled, feeling more self-conscious by the second.

"Okay, pretend we're having a really involved conversation just between the two of us," the man said, leaning forward slightly. Roxas did the same.

The man extended his left hand to the middle of the table. "Put your hand on mine, or I'll put my hand on yours, whichever you're feelin'."

"O-okay," Roxas said. He stretched out his hand to rest atop the other man's.

"_Don't be afraid to ad-lib that a little. Grab it, rub it with your thumb or something," _the man whispered.

Roxas did just that, allowing himself to get over his shy apprehension with touching a stranger for the sake of the acting. The man's hand was warm, the skin atop it smooth, but the parts underneath he could reach were slightly rough.

"Now look at me."

Roxas lifted his eyes to the other man's face. He had an easy, playful, content expression.

"Pretend I said something really funny."

"I'm...not really good at faking laughter..." Roxas said with a nervous chuckle.

The man gave a small sigh. "Okay, then. Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Roxas gave a little laugh. "Why?"

"What do I look like, the chicken expert?"

Roxas burst out laughing. The other man grinned.

Still chuckling, Roxas looked back up at him. "Has he seen us yet?" he asked, still smiling, genuine this time.

"I think he has," the man said, his smile becoming slightly devious. He slipped his hand out from Roxas' and smoothly put it on top of the younger man's hand. He caressed it with an expert touch, making Roxas' attempt seem amateur in comparison. Roxas' skin tingled from his touch.

The man peered briefly from the corner of his eye out the window, and back to Roxas again.

"Oooh, he's pissed," he grinned devilishly.

"I wanna see!" Roxas exclaimed softly, and attempted to do the same subtle, casual glance that the other had made.

Riku was on their side of the street now, and having caught a glimpse of them through the street-facing windowpane, had halted and was leering at the sight of both of them. Sora looked confused for a second, then recognition seemed to dawn on his face just before Roxas looked away.

Roxas' companion chuckled. "I think he's jealous," he smirked.

"Or he's wondering what the hell I'm doing with an older man," Roxas smirked back.

"Ah, 'The best revenge is living well,' as they say," the older man said, making airy gestures with his free hand. Roxas laughed.

"Think he's still gonna come in?" Roxas asked.

The man looked again. He laughed. "No, I don't think so."

Roxas peered out the window again, just in time to see Riku marching off in a huff, pulling Sora along with him.

Roxas chuckled joyfully. It was the first time since their breakup that the sight of Riku didn't make him feel sad inside, didn't pull at his heart a little; certainly the first time he'd laughed at his expense since then.

"You were right," Roxas grinned. "That _was _fun."

The redhead grinned back. "Told ya."

Roxas looked down at their hands, the man's hand still lying atop his own.

"Uhm..."

"Oh, sorry," the man pulled his hand away quickly, his face turning slightly pink in the process.

Feeling the hint of awkwardness in the air between them, Roxas went silent, going back to nursing his coffee. It was starting to cool. He sipped slowly and thought; the other man seeming to do the same.

"Uhm..." Roxas started. "Thanks, for doing that, and uh, for being here. If I'd been here by myself and saw him and Sora come in, I probably would've laid an egg," he chuckled.

The man smiled, with a small nod. With that, the tension was broken. "No problem. I've been in enough relationships to know that you've gotta try to have some fun after the breakup, too," he winked, "to keep from being _completely_ miserable."

The man drained the last of his coffee, and leaned back in the seat. "So, what's your name?"

Roxas was startled for a moment. All this time, all those confessions, and they didn't even know each other's names? Just where _was _his head today? "Oh, I'm Roxas. You?"

"Axel," the man said with a sly smile.

Roxas smiled. "Cool name."

"Thanks. My mom wanted to name me Lee, but my dad won out," he grinned with pride. "Well, okay, they compromised; Lee's my middle name."

"My dad named me, too; he's from Mexico, but I got all my mom's features," Roxas laughed. "There's a town called Roxas in Mexico, where he was born. He thought it would make for a strong name for a boy. It's pronounced more like Ro-has, but it ended up being more Americanized as I got older and I got sick of everyone pronouncing it wrong."

"Hmm, it sounds better that way, anyway," Axel mused. "Since you don't look Mexican...at all."

"Be blunt about it, why don't ya?" Roxas laughed. "But yeah, I'm cool with it. Even my mom pronounces it this way now."

"I'm guessing your dad's the only one who pronounces it the 'right' way, right?"

Roxas' smile dissolved. "He doesn't call me much of anything these days," he said in a small voice.

"Oh...I'm sorry," Axel said, obviously regretting his words.

"It's alright," Roxas shrugged. "My parents divorced when I was in high school, and when I came out...well, he wasn't exactly thrilled about it. He remarried and moved to another state a couple of years ago."

"Ouch," Axel said. "My folks are still together, wonder of wonders. And they didn't take the news of my being gay too hard, either. Though it probably helped that my cousin Reno came out three months before...and that I told them I was bi, too. Well, technically I _am_ bi, but...I just can't see myself settling down and spending the rest of my life with a girl, poppin' out kids one after the other. I've tried dating girls, but I never had romantic feelings for them. It always ended up being about the sex. I can have sex any day of the week if I wanted to; I want something more in a relationship. I want..." Axel stared down at his folded hands. "...love."

Axel was silent for a moment. Then he shook his head as though snapping out of a trance, and ran a hand through his hair. "Well look who's opening up too much now," he said with a nervous laugh, reddening. "So how about you? Bi or just gay?"

"Just gay, I think," Roxas said. He liked putting it so matter-of-factly. "I tried to make myself like girls when I was younger because I thought that liking girls was normal, what I was supposed to do. After a while, I eventually realized it wasn't gonna happen. I like having girls as friends, but that's it."

"You're the 'sassy gay friend' of the group, huh?" Axel winked.

Roxas laughed. "I don't know how sassy I am, so I'd say no."

They laughed together at that. Axel leaned back with a sigh, and casually glanced at his watch. His eyes widened.

"Oh! Shit, I should get going, didn't expect to be here this long," he said, grabbing his empty coffee cup.

Roxas felt a twinge of disappointment. "Yeah, I should get going, too."

They both slid out of the booth and stood up. Roxas' stomach dropped when he saw Axel at his full height; he was easily a whole head taller than him, not including his hair. They didn't move for a time, they just looked at one another for a few seconds, wondering what to say.

Axel spoke up first. "We should do this again sometime," he smiled.

Roxas looked up at him. "What? Share tales of heartbreak and woe?" he said with a slanted smirk.

Axel laughed. "No, I mean, have coffee."

Roxas felt a stir of excitement in his chest. "Yeah, yeah we should."

"Here, I'll give you my number." Axel dug around his pockets for his cell phone.

Roxas gave a little jump. "Alright!" He searched his own pockets for his cell.

"Ah, shit, I think I left my phone at home, _fuck_..." Axel grimaced. Roxas deflated, now holding his own cell phone.

"Alright, I do have a pen, hold on." Axel snatched a napkin from the table and quickly scribbled on it. He handed it to Roxas. "Here."

Roxas took it, and looked at it for a second. The man had written _"Axel"_ in a casual script, with his phone number below it.

"I'll give you mine, too!" Roxas said, grabbing a napkin. Axel lent him his pen – Roxas didn't have one on him – and he wrote down his name (in lazy printed letters) and number and gave it to Axel.

"Thanks," Axel grinned.

"No...thank you," Roxas said. "You made this day a lot easier for me...and fun, too," he smiled.

Axel smiled back softly. "Well, gotta go make the donuts," he said, saluting, and turned to walk toward the exit. "See ya 'round, Roxas."

Roxas felt a shiver as Axel said his name for the first time. He gave a small wave. "See ya."

Axel left, and Roxas, having finished his coffee, decided to leave, too.

That day would have turned out so much different, if he hadn't met Axel. Roxas looked down at the napkin in his hand as he approached the door. He had a feeling that things were going to be alright from now on.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Annnnd on a last minute fact-check, it turns out that I was mistaken about the name Roxas; it's actually the name of a city in the <em>Philippines.<em> Whoops! ^^'  
>Welp, that'll have to be changed later...or maybe I could leave it as-is and make Roxas, Mexico a fictional town? : I mean, Arlen's a fictional town in Texas in the show 'King of the Hill'...ah, I dunno. ._.'

Ah, hope you liked it in spite of that! haha ^^'


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